If I were to say to you,
The most selfish thing you can do in this world is help someone else”
what would you make of that? It seems an odd thing to say. Like me, you might have misread it as the most unselfish thing you can do…
Last week, I wrote here about kindness. It resonated with many of you, and it seems, with the mood of others in this world. Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister of New Zealand talked about the importance of kindness in her speech to the UN –
If I could distill it down into one concept….kindness. In the face of isolationism, protectionism, racism, the simple concept of looking outward and beyond ourselves – of kindness and collectivism – might just be as good a starting point as any.”
And I heard the fabulous Bear Grylls on the radio last week talking about the Scouts:
Kindness changes the world – I see it on expeditions, the qualities that matter are not the climbing skills, but the unselfishness and that kindness to each other when you are up against the wall…how can we tackle this and help empower kids to understand about empathy and get out there and do great things but also do kind things“
To go back to the quote at the top, of course, the quote is incomplete. The full quote is
The most selfish thing you can do in this world is help someone else, because of the gratification that comes to you from helping others – that’s where the joy and success are.”
This was said by the wonderful actor Denzel Washington, hero of many an action movie. He was speaking those words as part of his commencement speech to graduates at Dillard University, New Orleans.
He was talking very personally about the importance of putting God first in everything you do. But whatever perspective you have on faith and God, this speech is very powerful and hugely relevant today, and not just to our young people as they start out in the big wide world.
He was talking about the importance of gratitude as a motivator for kindness.
I love this.
We don’t always start the day in a great frame of mind. Frustrations happen on the way to work, it’s raining and our shoes leak, we are swamped with emails and demands on our time. We feel tired or weary. Sometimes we can get stuck in seeing the negative and what isn’t. And when we are in that frame of mind, we are often not motivated or inspired to lift our eyes up out of ourselves to see and get into the skin of those around us. Kindness to others is not always top of our agenda – we would really love someone to be kind to us, if we are brutally honest. Maybe that’s just me.
The key to shifting our perspective and opening the door to kindness?
Gratitude.
When we are aware of what we have, and are choosing to be thankful for that, our minds and hearts expand beyond our smallness. And in that space it is easier to notice others, and to then see what we can bring to them in small acts of kindness. Generosity of spirit starts from celebrating what we have to share.
Denzel (he and I are on first name terms of course) challenges us to
say thank you in advance for what is already yours”
What a wonderful way of looking at it:
This is who I am and what I have, and I am thankful for that. I have so much….
how can I show kindness to others today simply as a way of expressing my gratitude?
What are you thankful for this week? As you think about that and list a few things that you are thankful for in anticipation of all that is to come today, how does that attitude of gratitude grow kindness to others in you?
It comes full circle – we are grateful for who we are and what we have, and that stirs our hearts in kindness towards others to show unity and empathy with our fellow man. That brings greater happiness to us, and for that we are grateful.
Everyone wins! Gratitude – the key to kindness. Try it for yourself!
[…] And I have spoken here about this often before. The importance of kindness as we each in our own small way seek to make this world a better place – read more here. And examples of kindness on the world stage, more here. […]